Things that dont exist.

[Top Wop]

There are many things that people can sit around a debate the veracity of: the loch ness monster, bigfoot, possibility of time travel, aliens, etc. All of those are things that nobody really knows, so it can make for a lively debate. Especially if you have been abusing substances.

The following are some things that empirically do not exist. They aren't open to debate.

Men who don't want to have sex with Salma Hayek: If you are a male and you don't want to biblically know Salma...you are probably gay. Did I say probably? I mean definitely. I honestly believe that if a heterosexual man were to appear on this planet and truly not desire to have sexual relations with the raw hotness that is Salma Hayek...at that exact moment the fabric of space and time would rip and the universe would fold in on itself.

Women who never lie: There is no such beast. Her weight? Total BS. How much she spent shopping? A fat load. How she never thinks about other men in a sexual way? Not one true word in her statement. Not one. You have a far better shot of being sexually molested by a marauding gang of yetis and unicorns than you do of finding a woman who will never ever lie. It's just not going to happen.

A good Billy Zane movie: It sure as H*** isn't Posse. Nor it is Titanic. The more bad cinema I see this guy do, the more I feel sorry for him. I don't dislike him...but I'm starting to think his agent does.

A rabid Star Trek fan who has had sex with an attractive woman...without paying for it: Seriously. Tell me I'm wrong here.

A good reason to make another Jurassic Park movie: Nope. There is none. The first one had its moments. The second...um...sucked. The third might not have been all that bad...if I could get my brain past the fact that there appears to keep being more islands filled with dinosaurs. How many damn islands have they pulled this on? It's getting ridiculous.

A highly dedicated vegan who doesn't piss me off: Nope. Never met one. I don't think they exist.

Movies with a \"message\" that don't suck: If I wanted to learn, I would have gone to college. Stop preaching and start blowing some stuff up. That's what I paid $8 for.

[[]V[]essenjah]

Men who don't want to have sex with Salma Hayek: If you are a male and you don't want to biblically know Salma...you are probably gay. Did I say probably? I mean definitely. I honestly believe that if a heterosexual man were to appear on this planet and truly not desire to have sexual relations with the raw hotness that is Salma Hayek...at that exact moment the fabric of space and time would rip and the universe would fold in on itself.

I dunno, meh, she's ok. Two words: Morena Baccarin. Ah hell, 4 words. Summer Glau (can't get over those eyes). But they are WAY hotter IMO.

Women who never lie: There is no such beast. Her weight? Total BS. How much she spent shopping? A fat load. How she never thinks about other men in a sexual way? Not one true word in her statement. Not one. You have a far better shot of being sexually molested by a marauding gang of yetis and unicorns than you do of finding a woman who will never ever lie. It's just not going to happen.

Amen.

A good Billy Zane movie: It sure as H*** isn't Posse. Nor it is Titanic. The more bad cinema I see this guy do, the more I feel sorry for him. I don't dislike him...but I'm starting to think his agent does.

Who is Billy Zane anyway?

A rabid Star Trek fan who has had sex with an attractive woman...without paying for it: Seriously. Tell me I'm wrong here.

HAHAHA Spoken by one who knows. j/k

A good reason to make another Jurassic Park movie: Nope. There is none. The first one had its moments. The second...um...sucked. The third might not have been all that bad...if I could get my brain past the fact that there appears to keep being more islands filled with dinosaurs. How many damn islands have they pulled this on? It's getting ridiculous.

Two was the best one they made!! I didn't like 1. I didn't like 3. Two was the only one I liked at all Ian was a much more fun character to watch IMO.

A highly dedicated vegan who doesn't piss me off: Nope. Never met one. I don't think they exist.

LOL, I usually spend more time pissing them off to notice.

Movies with a "message" that don't suck: If I wanted to learn, I would have gone to college. Stop preaching and start blowing some stuff up. That's what I paid $8 for.

Don't suck? Try doesn't suck and I like films with a message, depending on what they are. The Postman, The Last Samurai I would watch anyday over Matrix. :\\ Not to mention I loved films such as K-Pax. Any director can show lots of cool special effects but I have found that as I have matured, I like the more rare films that can actually hold my interest through telling a clever and mind twisting story and require me to actually think. Anyone can blow stuff up. Hell, if you want explosions, save $8 and spend those 2 hours playing one of your favorite video games.

[RoBoT]

Men who don't want to have sex with Salma Hayek: If you are a male and you don't want to biblically know Salma...you are probably gay. Did I say probably? I mean definitely. I honestly believe that if a heterosexual man were to appear on this planet and truly not desire to have sexual relations with the raw hotness that is Salma Hayek...at that exact moment the fabric of space and time would rip and the universe would fold in on itself.

I don't even know who she is. Even if I did, I still wouldn't want to make out with her. Doesn't make me gay.

Women who never lie: There is no such beast. Her weight? Total BS. How much she spent shopping? A fat load. How she never thinks about other men in a sexual way? Not one true word in her statement. Not one. You have a far better shot of being sexually molested by a marauding gang of yetis and unicorns than you do of finding a woman who will never ever lie. It's just not going to happen."

Hide the scales and credit cards, never ask her about her love life. Problem solved.

A good Billy Zane movie: It sure as H*** isn't Posse. Nor it is Titanic. The more bad cinema I see this guy do, the more I feel sorry for him. I don't dislike him...but I'm starting to think his agent does.

Who is Billy Zane? I need to know so I can put a face to the name in my book...

A rabid Star Trek fan who has had sex with an attractive woman...without paying for it: Seriously. Tell me I'm wrong here.

Okay. You're wrong there.
...What were you talking about, again?

A good reason to make another Jurassic Park movie: Nope. There is none. The first one had its moments. The second...um...sucked. The third might not have been all that bad...if I could get my brain past the fact that there appears to keep being more islands filled with dinosaurs. How many damn islands have they pulled this on? It's getting ridiculous.

I liked the first one. Can't remember much of the second. The third one I don't really get. Why wasn't there a Spinosaur (whatever) in the first or second movies? And why did they try and bring live dinos (a T-rex, no less!) into a populated city? Did they really think this would be a good idea?

A highly dedicated vegan who doesn't piss me off: Nope. Never met one. I don't think they exist.

...I don't know what a vegan is, so i can't really comment.

Movies with a "message" that don't suck: If I wanted to learn, I would have gone to college. Stop preaching and start blowing some stuff up. That's what I paid $8 for.

Actually, that depends on the movie and the person watching it. I like The Incredibles, but I've met people who found it boring for some reason or another (IMO because they expect to see an hour and a half of bad guys getting the crud kicked out of them. In fact, in the entire movie, Syndrome and Mr. Incredible never actually go mano-a-mano and duke it out like in most movies. The only time Syndrome actually gets hit is by Jack-Jack at the end).

[Suncho]

You don't know who Salma Hayek is?

All movies have a message.

[Samuel Dravis]

Who is Billy Zane? I need to know so I can put a face to the name in my book...

This guy.

...I don't know what a vegan is, so i can't really comment.

A strict vegetarian.

Some movies with messages are great. Most don't live up to their full potential though...

[Ferno]

\"Things that don't exist\"

you forgot Mobius's brain.

[dissent]

Mmmmmm. Salma Hayek. Que mujer !!!!!

And Morena Baccarin has the most amazing ... eyes! (Really)