DescentBB

Add them if you have them..

--I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.--

Bee

I thought my nose was bleeding, but it's not.

Oh don't get me started..Wood/trees, electricty, kitchen, pictures just to name a few popular subjects that I can toss out there. Just ask a [RIP], a [NuB], or an independant that knows me. they'll tell ya.

Samples:
Barking up the wrong tree
[object] doesn't know how to conduct itself
you've been mugged
you've been framed, I just don't know what the crime was...

Fus

One of my favs ...

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall ...the police are looking into it.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to the hospital. When his grandmother called to ask how he was, a nurse said, \"No change yet.\"

Bee

We were going to talk about Arab stereotypes, but decided that might get explosive.

Bet51987 wrote:A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to the hospital. When his grandmother called to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

Bee

That makes cents.

Two peanuts were walking through Central Park at midnight. One was assaulted.

__________________________


The seven dwarves were taking a bath. They all felt happy. He got out.

__________________________

\"A man was walking through the Zoo when he saw a sign in the distance. He walked up to read it.

The sign said \"Beware - the Llama spits.\"

And he was.
________________________________________

\"I can make a pun on any subject you care to mention.\"

\"Very well - how about the Queen.\"

\"The Queen is not a subject.\"

OSCAR WILDE
__________________________________________

...And finally my all time favourite:


Winston Churchill was once called upon at a dinner party to give an impromptu speech on the subject of sex.

He stood up and said: \"It gives me great pleasure...\"

Then he sat down again.

True Story!

One time, I had insomnia, so I went to take some sleeping pills, but I didn't want to wake them up.

A bass drum, a snare drum, and a cymbol fell off a cliff.

Ba da bing!







Ok, so that isn't technically a pun but it was all I could think of at the moment.

A restaurant owner, commenting on the narrow pathways of his nearly ready to open establishment noted he'd have to be selective about his wait staff.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. he acquired his size from too much pi.

Bee

I needed to repair my buttocks, because I rectum.

That last pun just reeks.

Bet51987 wrote:The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. he acquired his size from too much pi.

I like that one. (Yep, I'm a huge math geek.)

Math pun wrote:My mother is a mathematician, so she knows how to induce good behavior. "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times...."

\"You're welcome to leave.\"

I read Frank and Earnest every day - very punny.

where ever you go there you are.

you can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank -- proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

My vacuum cleaner really sucks.

1 mol of Avocados = a Guacamole!

\"I had a really crappy job\"

\"did you drive a septic truck?\"

So, you know how 8 bits = 1 byte? What would half a byte be?






...a nibble

[edit - fixed!]

Flatlander wrote:So, you know how 8 bytes = 1 bit? What would half a byte be?

by your definitoin 1/16 bit

Most Indiana farmers are out standing in their field.

A termite walks into a bar and says, \"Where's the bar tender?\"

A baby seal walked into a club....

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

Bee

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Seven days on honeymoon makes one hole weak

So Fred sent ten puns into a pun contest.
Fred asked the contest director if any of his puns won any prizes, but no pun in ten did.

Lobber wrote:So Fred sent ten puns into a pun contest.
Fred asked the contest director if any of his puns won any prizes, but no pun in ten did.

Nice.

A man walks into a bar...

Ouch!

..so a dyslexic man walks into a bra...

So Duper...

Does that mean that \"Dyslexics need to untie\"?

(\"untie\" a common dyslexic way of spelling \"unite\".)

only if you're lysdexic.

I hate to necro but... I came up with a pun!


Father Jacob raised his hands and said, \"Lettuce Spray\".

(Singing): \"Old Macdonald was dislexic O I E O A...\"

I was going to buy a Saturn but they're a bit too spacey.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?