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Cheating wife joke PG 13

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 8:53 am
by CDN_Merlin
A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report:

 
Most honorable sir:
You leave house.
He come house.
I watch.
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she get on train.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree, look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she.
She strip he.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
Fall out of tree, not see.
 
NO FEE.

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 9:03 am
by 3vil l33t
Heh.

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 10:51 am
by Tetrad
Banned for racism.

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 11:02 am
by CDN_Merlin
Tetrad, please explain "banned for racism"?

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 11:24 am
by {Hawk}Liquid
lol

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 11:27 am
by snoopy
heh.

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 11:30 am
by Avder
laf/2

yes, hat should read "laf over 2" or one half a laf. wtfe.

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 11:43 am
by Top Wop
Merlin you are a FSKING racist.

:x

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 12:59 pm
by Cougar
"Merlin you are a FSKING racist. "

Don't pretend you actually know the guy...

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 1:59 pm
by Mobius
it's just an ordinary joke, so relax: it can't hurt you. It's not racist at all - but it does play on racial stereotypes - which is why it's funny.

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 2:04 pm
by CDN_Merlin
You guys are a bunch of wankers. Get off the rag.

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 2:17 pm
by Krom
Heh.

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2004 2:59 pm
by Top Wop
CDN_Merlin wrote:You guys are a bunch of wankers. Get off the rag.
You should follow your own advice more often, but im not going to turn this into a bash fest. Besides, I found the joke pritty funny, and what Tet said and reading your reaction afterwards. And considering what he had said and looking back at the mark of sarcasm I made you should have realized that I was merely kidding, but apparently your axons are not firing on all four cylinders today. :)

For reference, please review the internet manual here and make special note of #19. Cougar on the other hand should make a special note of the whole thing. :)

Thank you, you have just made my day.

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 12:50 am
by Wang_Lo
i am not taking offense, so i guess it wouldn't be racism. but i would like to see some white jokes, i see mexican jokes, black, yellow, but no white jokes, so lets hear em !

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 3:10 am
by Vindicator
Top Wop wrote:pritty
omg, this is driving me insane... LEARN HOW TO SPELL "PRETTY"!!!

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 3:11 am
by Jeff250
Wang_Lo wrote:i am not taking offense, so i guess it wouldn't be racism. but i would like to see some white jokes, i see mexican jokes, black, yellow, but no white jokes, so lets hear em !
For the white jokes, you just need to refer to any of the mug threads.

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 4:34 am
by Tyranny
Wang must not watch a lot of television. If you haven't noticed lately, just being white IS the joke. :roll:

jebus people, get a sense of humor, does it really have to matter what racial stereotype is being used? :roll:

Damn this PC bull★■◆●, damn it to hell.

oh, and for all those that obviously took the time to dump on Merlin's thread because he happens to dump on yours, why not grow a pair and be the better person, mmmk?

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 5:35 am
by Mobius
A husband and wife are lying in bed one night. The husband is feeling a bit depressed about work, and he asks his wife, "Honey, if I died - would you get married again?"

She lies there for a few seconds and then says, "Well, I'm not sure. Maybe."

He says to her, "Darling, would you let him drive my Porsche?" She says, "No baby, I'd be driving the Porsche."

He says, "Well, would you sleep in this bed with him?"

She replies, "Well, he would actually be my husband after all!"

He lies there for a bit and then says, "Baby, would you let him use my golf clubs?"

And she says, "No Darling. He's left handed."

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 6:13 am
by Flatlander
:lol:

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 7:01 am
by CDN_Merlin
ROFL

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 7:42 am
by Vertigo 99
Tyranny wrote:Wang must not watch a lot of television. If you haven't noticed lately, just being white IS the joke. :roll:
sotrue, lol

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 9:04 am
by Iceman
CDN_Merlin wrote:You guys are a bunch of wankers. Get off the rag.
WORD!

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 9:36 am
by Tetrad
Tyranny wrote:jebus people, get a sense of humor
Right back at ya. That goes for everybody in this thread that posted something serious. Except for me.

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 4:14 pm
by MD-2389
Jeff250 wrote:For the white jokes, you just need to refer to any of the mug threads.
Or watch Jeff Foxworthy....

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 4:22 pm
by TheCops
MD-2389 wrote:
Jeff250 wrote:For the white jokes, you just need to refer to any of the mug threads.
Or watch Jeff Foxworthy....
no.
those would be white trash jokes.
:P

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 4:36 pm
by HaAGen DaZS
On the way home, John was feeling horny, and after having a few "down times" in the past few weeks with his wife he decided hed go home asap and spice it all up.

so he gets in the door, and runs up to their room, and awesome! she's sleeping!

so John jumps into bed, and slips off his wife's pants and begins to give her a lickout. shes squirming, and its all going well. shes screaming - loving it. and finally 20mins later, climaxes. Before continuing, John runs into the bathroom to clean his teeth - only to meet his wife!
"honey how did you get in here so fast?!"
"what? ive been in here for 30mins, and be quiet, you're mother is in our bed, did you forget she was coming over?!"

:P

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 4:39 pm
by Tyranny
Tetrad wrote:
Tyranny wrote:jebus people, get a sense of humor
Right back at ya. That goes for everybody in this thread that posted something serious. Except for me.
I thought it was funny, but why bother posting that? The thread was already mutilated when I posted. Your sense of humor is what started this in the first place. You know how stupid people get when the "racism" card gets pulled. I thought your post was funny but apparently everyone that followed thought you were being serious and it went right over their heads.

EDIT: ROFL @ HAG....lol!

Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 4:51 pm
by HaAGen DaZS
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.
Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. naturally, the guy began to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.

Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
-----

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her,
"Honey, would you give me a blow job?" Horrified, she replies,
"Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says,

"Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"

:D :D

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 3:38 am
by Tyranny
hahaha....

Some really good ones there Hag :)

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 2:56 pm
by Zetal
Top Wop wrote:Merlin you are a FSKING racist.

:x
Yeah! Making a joke about those two blacks getting it on... That's just racist! Sheesh! ...and that tree! I was an asian tree! YOU ARE SO RACIST! :P:P:P:P:P:P

Seriously, I didn't think it was. It had to be a foreign person because they would need the poor English to tie it together like that.

BTW: :x ACEFACE'D!!! :o:o:o :P:P

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 3:20 pm
by Dedman
TheCops wrote:
MD-2389 wrote:
Jeff250 wrote:For the white jokes, you just need to refer to any of the mug threads.
Or watch Jeff Foxworthy....
no.
those would be white trash jokes.
:P
What's the difference :wink:

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 4:04 pm
by Zetal
Dedman wrote:
TheCops wrote:
MD-2389 wrote:
Jeff250 wrote:For the white jokes, you just need to refer to any of the mug threads.
Or watch Jeff Foxworthy....
no.
those would be white trash jokes.
:P
What's the difference :wink:
I don't see one. :wink:

(Think there are enough quotes yet?)

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 6:50 pm
by Krom
Zetal wrote:
Dedman wrote:
TheCops wrote:
MD-2389 wrote:
Jeff250 wrote:For the white jokes, you just need to refer to any of the mug threads.
Or watch Jeff Foxworthy....
no.
those would be white trash jokes.
:P
What's the difference :wink:
I don't see one. :wink:

(Think there are enough quotes yet?)
One more can't hurt.

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 8:07 pm
by Zetal
Krom wrote:
Zetal wrote:
Dedman wrote:
TheCops wrote:
MD-2389 wrote:
Jeff250 wrote:For the white jokes, you just need to refer to any of the mug threads.
Or watch Jeff Foxworthy....
no.
those would be white trash jokes.
:P
What's the difference :wink:
I don't see one. :wink:

(Think there are enough quotes yet?)
One more can't hurt.
I suppose not. :P

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 8:28 pm
by Battlebot
Zetal wrote:
Krom wrote:
Zetal wrote:
Dedman wrote:
TheCops wrote:
MD-2389 wrote:
Jeff250 wrote:For the white jokes, you just need to refer to any of the mug threads.
Or watch Jeff Foxworthy....
no.
those would be white trash jokes.
:P
What's the difference :wink:
I don't see one. :wink:

(Think there are enough quotes yet?)
One more can't hurt.
I suppose not. :P
wonder how small the quote boxes can get

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 8:46 pm
by Stupid
Battlebot wrote:
Zetal wrote:
Krom wrote:
Zetal wrote:
Dedman wrote:
TheCops wrote:
MD-2389 wrote:
Jeff250 wrote:For the white jokes, you just need to refer to any of the mug threads.
Or watch Jeff Foxworthy....
no.
those would be white trash jokes.
:P
What's the difference :wink:
I don't see one. :wink:

(Think there are enough quotes yet?)
One more can't hurt.
I suppose not. :P
wonder how small the quote boxes can get
I dunno, but I guess we'll soon find out?

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 10:40 pm
by Sarge
Stupid wrote:
Battlebot wrote:
Zetal wrote:
Krom wrote:
Zetal wrote:
Dedman wrote:
TheCops wrote:
MD-2389 wrote:
Jeff250 wrote:For the white jokes, you just need to refer to any of the mug threads.
Or watch Jeff Foxworthy....
no.
those would be white trash jokes.
:P
What's the difference :wink:
I don't see one. :wink:

(Think there are enough quotes yet?)
One more can't hurt.
I suppose not. :P
wonder how small the quote boxes can get
I dunno, but I guess we'll soon find out?
Waybusch! Um, yea...

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 11:12 pm
by Krom
Sarge wrote:
Stupid wrote:
Battlebot wrote:
Zetal wrote:
Krom wrote:
Zetal wrote:
Dedman wrote:
TheCops wrote:
MD-2389 wrote:
Jeff250 wrote:For the white jokes, you just need to refer to any of the mug threads.
Or watch Jeff Foxworthy....
no.
those would be white trash jokes.
:P
What's the difference :wink:
I don't see one. :wink:

(Think there are enough quotes yet?)
One more can't hurt.
I suppose not. :P
wonder how small the quote boxes can get
I dunno, but I guess we'll soon find out?
Waybusch! Um, yea...
What have I done?

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 11:40 pm
by Viralphrame
Krom wrote:
Sarge wrote:
Stupid wrote:
Battlebot wrote:
Zetal wrote:
Krom wrote:
Zetal wrote:
Dedman wrote:
TheCops wrote:
MD-2389 wrote:[quote="Jeff250"]For the white jokes, you just need to refer to any of the mug threads.
Or watch Jeff Foxworthy....
no.
those would be white trash jokes.
:P
What's the difference :wink:
I don't see one. :wink:

(Think there are enough quotes yet?)
One more can't hurt.
I suppose not. :P
wonder how small the quote boxes can get
I dunno, but I guess we'll soon find out?
Waybusch! Um, yea...
What have I done?[/quote]

What the hell, not this again. :|

Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2004 11:44 pm
by Vertigo 99
Viralphrame wrote:
Krom wrote:
Sarge wrote:
Stupid wrote:
Battlebot wrote:
Zetal wrote:
Krom wrote:
Zetal wrote:
Dedman wrote:
TheCops wrote:[quote="MD-2389"][quote="Jeff250"]For the white jokes, you just need to refer to any of the mug threads.
Or watch Jeff Foxworthy....
no.
those would be white trash jokes.
:P
What's the difference :wink:
I don't see one. :wink:

(Think there are enough quotes yet?)
One more can't hurt.
I suppose not. :P
wonder how small the quote boxes can get
I dunno, but I guess we'll soon find out?
Waybusch! Um, yea...
What have I done?[/quote]

What the hell, not this again. :|[/quote]

Eventually, the PHPBB system kills the original quote and just quotes a blank box, lol