DescentBB

So, I'm standing in my shower this morning (OK, it was almost afternoon ) which is something that happens most mornings - I'm a man after all.

Anyway, I'm looking at my shampoo bottle: Wella Balsam, for the record. On it, it proudly says "Shine & Protection" and it has also, two stickers. One declares "25% more FREE" and the other screams "New and Improved!". On the bottle, it also says, and I quote, "With natural fruit extracts and essences".

So, in my water-adled state, I start wondering about these things. Firstly, I'll admit, I quite like shiny hair - but how shiny should it be? Is there some sort of hair albedo rating? How shiny is too shiny? Is there such a thing as too shiny? I guess, on a sunny day, if you can't look at someone's hair, even with sunnies on, then that hair is too shiny. If it reflects incoming "laser beams", then I guess it's just shiny enough!

Now, 25% free sounds great. But it's telling me "25% more FREE" and I can only assume it's referring to the contents, because I am already 100% free - living in a western democracy - so it couldn't be about me. The concept of 125% Free making as much sense as "I'm out there giving it 110%!".

Strange how the concept of 100% doesn't seem to equate with many people's brains. I'm 99% sure 10% of people think 110% is what they give. And I'm equally sure that when they say they are giving 110%, they're actually giving about 55%, because in normal circumstances they give about 50%.

OK, so 25% EXTRA FREE means the contents should contain 25% more I suppose. However, the old bottles were 500ml (Half a litre - almost a pint) and the new ones should, therefore, contain 625 mls. The bottle says 600 mls though - which is clearly 20% extra and NOT 25%.

I guess the people who do this math (Marketing people) are not highly trained in the skills of math, but even a $1.95 calculator correctly finds what is 125% of 500.

Now, the "New & Improved" piqued my curiousity as well - and this doesn't even involve maths at all! This is simple logic: something is EITHER New or improved. It can't be both. Surely marketing people know this? Haven't 800,000 people repeatedly mentioned this to advertising people in passing?

Also, if it's NEW - how could I get 25% extra (20%) FREE?

If it's improved - HOW is it improved? I even dug through the waste basket in the bathroom to find the old bottle - and the contents on the bottle are identical!!11 Perhaps it's some new RATIO of these ingredients which make it "improved"? I'm reaching here - so help me out.

"With natural fruit extracts and essences". What the hell does this mean? What exactly is an "essence"? Personally, I like my fruit in a bowl, and if sticking it in shampoo makes it nice and smelly then all the better. But here's the kicker: NATURAL.

Now, I know a thing or three about science and biology (Bio was my best subject at school, just slightly ahead of "Girls") and I can't for the life of me figure out what an "unnatural fruit" is.

The feel compelled to say "natural" which implies there is an alternative. Are there any unnatural fruits? I mean, there are cumquats, and furless kiwis which are hybrids bred by man - but these surely, are natural fruits?

So, "fake/unnatural fruit"? You know, like the ones people have in a bowl somewhere near the kitchen. They're usually glossy, and covered in dust. Try getting some "extracts and essences" out of these! You'd have "Essence d'cardboard" and "Extract de la Papier Maché". So I'm glad they don't put *THAT* into my shampoo thanks very much.

I guess there are three morals to this story.

1) Advertising and marketing people are very stupid.
2) Customers are only slightly less stupid.
3) It doesn't pay to start wondering about such things.

4) somebody has too much time on their hands
5) somebody else has slightly less too much time if they actually go through and read that

methinks someone should be a philosopher

Dude you just made a thread on shampoo...

I think we should make a thread about answering machine messages.

1. Technically something can be new and improved simultaneously. For example, improving on a method of doing something (insert whatever here) inherently makes the new method both new and improved because it renders the previous method old and obsolete.

The fact that the two go hand in hand does not cancel out one or the other as they are both definably different.

2. The natural ingredients thing all boils down to the fact that they use real fruit to produce the fragrance instead of using a synthetically created scent that is supposed to emulate the smell of real fruit.

As far as some of the math things are concerned. The marketing departments dont care if they are right when it comes down to the exact numbers. Their only job is to create the illusion that the products are safer for you, more in quantity and produce better results then other products of the same type regardless of specifics.

Trust me, the marketing people know what they are doing. They aren't marketing to YOU specifically anyways if you know what I mean.

Dude, just lather, rinse, repeat, and STFU.

LMAO!

It is possible to chemically reproduce the molecules and only those that are responsible for a fruit's scent. It is still natural (molecules are natural, aren't they?) but they weren't built by the plant that grows fruits.

For the rest it's the same, so I couldn't care less if my shampoo was chemical or natural fruit.

Speaking of which, what shampoo are you guys using? Right now I have slightly longer hair than normal (almost good for a ponytail) and I'd like a shampoo that makes my hair soft but stick in whatever position it is when it dries.

I've tried various shampoos, with various results -- with some my hair went flapping in all directions even before it dried.

That's more of an interesting question, if you ask me

I shave my head now....me saves money. (and excites the spouse)

...cute post Mob', best one i've seen for a while.

I don't shower.

TMI FC!!!

When I was a laddy, I used to have shiney blonde hair.

I used to have my picture taken and teh flash WOULD bounce off my hair

But i wa sa dirty rascal then, right? So i became hygenic, and washed my hair 1-2 times a day, AND NOW I HAVE BROWN HAIR!!

Someone is going to get the pants sued off them!

Mobi are you sober?

I think Mobi's been watching Andy Rooney one too many times.
Good post Chris.

Mobi, did you write that, or copy it from somewhere? I wouldn't be surprised if you did write it

/me thinks Mobi is compensating for something....

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Arial" size="3">Originally posted by [NuB] Dedman:
Dude, just lather, rinse, repeat, and STFU.</font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now *THAT* is funny!

Yeah that's me. I need a life. Or a girlfriend. Either would do.

Y'know I philosophise in the shower too, but I don't post it here on the DBB

Usually if you get a girlfriend, you get a life, but you only get a girlfriend if you have a life. Think about that.

Lmao Good post.

I'm just so glad someone takes the time to ponder these issues for me as my shower thoughts are usually about having some snakey blond in there with me.

BTW, Mobi, are you sueing to get your money back for the missing 5%?

According to the bottle, that extra amount is free - so how could I complain even???

False advertising I mean c'mon people sue McDonalds for getting fat, you can complain

Heh... also don't forget bottles aren't always filled all the way up... maybe they made a larger bottle and filled it up more

It's almost like a furniture store When they're having a sale, they jack up their prices 30%, then have a big "25% OFF SALE!!!"

Mobi, looking over it a second time, I'll also have to say you're a good writer

And also looking over it a second time this caught my eye:

<font face="Arial" size="3">Are there any unnatural fruits? </font>

How about the stuff they put in skittles? Sunny Delight is 5% juice. They have chemicals that can make anything taste/smell like any fruit. Sorry dats the only point I found

About 3 hours before this thread in TheCops' "has anyone seen 21 grams?" thread:

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Arial" size="3">Originally posted by Mobius:
No, but I got 28 grams at home! </font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


You're not supposed to take it all in one sitting.

Are there any unnatural fruits?

Well duuh...just look at the liberal democratic party. Sorry Vander, I couldn't restrain myself

hehe- good post

The advertising catch phrase I like is this one:

<font size=5 color=white face=tahoma>SAVE UP TO 50% OF EVERYTHING IN-STORE!!!111!</font>

The words "up to" clearly including the NUMBER ZERO!

What about "Save up to 50% or more!"?

What's that supposed to mean?

someone was beating their head on the wall?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Arial" size="3">Originally posted by De Rigueur:
<b> What about "Save up to 50% or more!"?

What's that supposed to mean?</b></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It means you have less than a 50% chance to save 50% or more 50% of the time.

<font face="Arial" size="3">So, in my water-adled state, I start wondering about these things. Firstly, I'll admit, I quite like shiny hair - but how shiny should it be? Is there some sort of hair albedo rating? How shiny is too shiny? Is there such a thing as too shiny? I guess, on a sunny day, if you can't look at someone's hair, even with sunnies on, then that hair is too shiny. If it reflects incoming "laser beams", then I guess it's just shiny enough!</font>

When JMEaT photochops you picture with "bling/bling" your hair is to shiny

My god Mobius what has this crazy world come to? We live in a sick society. I can't believe what you are saying. Something should be done about this. Better write to your congressmen! (To the USA folks )